Combating Postpartum Mood Disorders When Maternal Support is Limited

Most of us have never considered that our births might be anything other than the joyous event we always dreamed of. We are eager to welcome our babies into the world surrounded by our partners and chosen support people and then to snuggle our bigger babies as we introduce them to their brand new little sibling. Those moments of support and connection are so important and heck, capturing family and friends as they pour into a delivery room to meet the new arrival are some of my favorite moments as a birth photographer.

But in the last couple of weeks, the birth climate has changed drastically as we are being called to practice social distancing in an effort to quash a global pandemic. Many hospitals around the country (and the world!) are on lockdown, crushing the birth plans of thousands of women approaching their due dates. Visitors have been limited and in some cases, even spouses and partners are not permitted to stay, leaving laboring mothers to face delivery and postpartum recovery alone. Many of my clients have reached out to say how upset they are or that they are looking into home births, but home birth isn’t an option for everyone.

It is all so very depressing! Expectant and new mothers are already prone to feeling overwhelmed and anxious, and with this increased isolation and sense of disappointment, the potential for postpartum mood disorders and depression is more of a concern than ever. Pensacola based doula and aspiring midwife, Megan Kennedy, is here to give us some tips on how to prepare yourself to combat any mood disorders that might crop up as you face birthing in these less than desirable circumstances

HI! My name is Meagan Kennedy and I am a multi-service doula serving the Gulf Coast from Mobile, AL to Panama City, FL. I offer many different services such as fertility education and planning, pregnancy preparation, labor and birth services, postpartum support services (light housekeeping, chores/errands, sibling care, mama care, getting everyone on a schedule, and helping with the baby so that mama can rest and get strong) and postpartum healing which includes quite a few natural healing methods. Very recently, I teamed up with some officers to begin my journey to become one of the first doulas in Florida to enter our jail system to work with expecting mothers there. I also serve as the Birth Assistant for Practical Midwifery and in the fall I plan to begin school up become a Midwife.

Photo Credit: Salz Studio

As a mama to FIVE sweet babies of my own, I love educating fellow mamas, preparing them for their journeys, and helping them bring their sweet babies into the world. It breaks my heart that this state of quarantine has so many mamas worrying about how they will manage a birth experience so radically different from what they planned. Now, more than ever, I feel it is so important to begin a conversation about maternal mental health and I want to share a few things you should do to help prevent postpartum depression, be ready to recognize when things feel ‘off’, and feel confident expressing any concerns to get the help you need.

HAVE A PLAN

I would like to start off by saying, now is a good time to recreate your birth vision and make sure that everyone who will be present has a copy and you’re all on the same page. This includes your provider, your spouse, your support person, and your L&D team. It’s important that you still feel empowered and you’re always advocating for yourself. Now more than ever, it’s important that you feel heard and respected and not treated as if this virus has taken over your birth journey.

PACK ACCORDINGLY

Bring all of the same things that you previously planned to bring for your birth and first few days of postpartum. You may also want to add a couple of items that you might not otherwise have brought but that you know will help to brighten your room or mood if you start to feel down and lonely. Make sure you include a way to freeze these important memories that you will make during your birth and the postpartum period. I also encourage you to pack a small journal, not only to write down your birth story and things you want to remember, but also to keep track of your feelings. Writing down your feelings can go a long way toward helping you to recognize symptoms of mood disorders and, more importantly, feel comfortable expressing yourself as needed. If staying connected to virtual visitors is important to you, an ipad/laptop or stand for your phone and a lightweight extension cord to keep it charged might be something to consider (those outlets are always too far away). And be sure to install the applications you need for video chatting (and test them) before you go. You likely won’t have the bandwidth needed to download apps on hospital Wi-Fi and your cellular service may be spotty.

GET VIRTUAL LABOR SUPPORT

If you are worried that you will not have the physical birth support you planned on, investing in a doula to video chat during labor could be a very good way to get the neutral support that you and your partner may need. Turn that rolling tray in your hospital room into a place for your iPad or laptop and a virtual doula will be ‘right there’ to assist your partner with techniques to comfort you and help you through the waves while your body prepares for your baby’s birth. In addition to that, your doula will be able to offer positive affirmations, encouraging words, breathing techniques, and advocacy support. Adding the virtual aspect to your birth can even extend over into your family being present via video chat. Skype is probably the most useable app for group chats (and what your parents & grandparents will be most comfortable with), but the Houseparty app might also be worth checking out

One very important piece to remember though is that this is a very intimate time for you and your partner, yes we want our families involved, but extra people can also be a distraction. It is important that you have the space to remain present in what matters the most. Don’t be afraid to say goodbye and turn off the chat if you need.

SHIFT YOUR MINDSET

Don’t allow the fact that your mom or your best friend can’t be present for your birth to affect the end goal: a happy mama and a happy baby. But how do you force yourself to be happy about a situation that isn’t at all what you wanted it to be? The first step is to acknowledge the reality of the situation and find ways to get comfortable with and open to this less than ideal birth experience. Envision how you might be able to use this time without visitors to focus on your own rest and recovery and to soak up all of that primo bonding time with your baby. Consciously shifting your focus to the positive moments and not allowing your heart to dwell on the disappointments will help improve your mood from the get-go.

KEEP YOUR BABY SKIN TO SKIN

Not only is skin-to-skin time good for baby and breastfeeding, but it helps to balance out your hormones and produce oxytocin. Instead of simply holding or feeding your baby while swaddled, take a moment to strip away the layers between you and really stay connected to help ward off any negative feelings.

RECOGNIZE WHEN THINGS FEEL OFF

Both you and your partner should take the time to familiarize yourself with the early warning signs of postpartum depression. It is normal to experience a dip in your mood, fatigue, and feelings of uncertainty in the weeks after having a baby. But if those feelings persist or worsen, you will want to seek help. If something seems off, it typically is..and a red flag is a red flag. What you have to remember is that being honest enough with yourself to identify symptoms and openly communicating about them is important.

COMMUNICATE EARLY AND OFTEN

Social distancing doesn’t mean you have to feel alone. It is more important than ever to communicate how you are feeling early and often, because the people who know your ‘normal’ are not present to recognize when things are off. Consider setting up a daily video chat with your mom, sister, or bestie so that they can really check in and visually evaluate how you are doing. If you feel like you are expressing your feelings and not being heard, reach out to your doula, your provider, a friend. Don’t let negative thoughts fester.

Postpartum mood disorders don’t just affect mama, but they can also greatly affect our partner as well causing strain and hardship sometimes even making things irreparable. So talk and work through things together. 

Through all of this, I want to remind you AND your partner or family that you can and will get through this. Please take the time to recognize and acknowledge when something is off. It is so important that we make postpartum mood disorders a main focus so that we can improve our healing. Do not allow anyone to sweep what you’re feeling under the rug. I want you to remember that being honest with yourself is key to healing, it’s key to protecting you and your postpartum period. 

Always remember…thoughts of suicide, or hurting yourself or your baby, are ADVANCED signs of postpartum depression and even postpartum psychosis, a rare but much more serious mental illness that may accompany postpartum depression. If you’re having any kind of suicidal thoughts, you are already in crisis and need to call your doctor or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 immediately to get help.

Megan is available for virtual labor support and postpartum doula care during this period of quarantine surrounding COVID-19. Additionally, she is always available to offer counsel and advice to anyone who believes they or a loved one might need to be evaluated for postpartum mood disorders (even if you aren’t a client). You can reach out to her at 8(850) 490-0897 or via Facebook messenger at https://www.facebook.com/doulamkh/